Memoir of a Runner Girl

At the age of 35 I found myself divorced, a mother of a 3 and 5 year old, and still suffering from grief at the loss of my 3 year olds twin sibling. I landed myself back into a career that I knew well, was good at, and was able to make a livable wage to support my family. Even though it was never the career I wanted, it sufficed. When I recollect those days, I definitely had kicked into survival mode. Being a full time working Mom and a single Mother on top of that is no easy task. But, here I was, and circumstances had made some choices for me that I was forced to live with. I'm no hero, and at times it was really tough, but as any Mother would, I pushed through each day trying to be the best Mom I knew how to be. It was during this time that I found the love of running. When the kids were both in elementary school I started my day at 5:30 in the morning before they got up. I walked with the neighbor ladies for a quick 20 minute jaunt. I felt horrible guilt for leaving the kids sleeping in bed while I would sneak out the door, but I quickly realized this 20 minutes of "me" time, fresh air and brisk aerobic exercise got me charged in a positive manner each morning. Those few precious moments in the morning became priceless to me. It didn't take long before I decided that those 20 minutes needed to be spent running. I started to feel more alive and energized throughout the day then I ever had. It was then that I became addicted to running.
Now I am 47, I have a few full marathons (26.2 miles) and many half marathons (13.1 miles) under my belt. As I reflect on this its obvious that my love for running went from a morning kick start of 2 -3 miles to what some might call an obsession. Was it an obsession, or a healthy way to cope with life's ups and downs? The story does progress as to why my miles increased. For starters, a horrible skiing accident left me unable to do much of anything active for a few years. I was forced to quit my job, as my career was too physical to continue. Now remarried, I went to work for my husbands company doing book work, with a decrease in pay, and a much more sedentary job. When doctors gave me the green light to be active again I had something to prove to myself, and that was to never feel incapacitated again as well as take some control of my life again.  During this time frame the economy took a serious tumble and my husbands business did too. I used to sit in the office and wonder how on earth I was going to make it through this next obstacle. I got a pretty big case of feeling sorry for myself. However, knowing that running had gotten me through those years in my latter 30's I strapped on my running shoes and literally ran the blues away.
On one of my first "long" runs of over six miles I remember thinking that I never thought I could accomplish such a feat. When I ran my first 13 miles, I cried with joy. My first full marathon held its own gambit of emotions from mile 7 questioning my reasoning behind this crazy goal, to mile 13 being ecstatic that I was half way there, to mile 18 having a burst of crazy energy, mile 23 feeling like I was going to die, mile 25 being pissed at the world, and finally finishing the end at 26.2 being more proud of myself than I ever was my entire life. I realized then that a marathon is much like life with highs and lows and with a little bit of perseverance we can carry on. Crying and letting my emotions out on a run is not unusual for me. No, I'm not a crazy lady trying to keep my youth and run from my problems. You see, running puts life into perspective. It gets those positive endorphins going and makes you feel healthy. Naturally you eat better when you are feeling good. It's a win - win situation. What is it they say? When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!
What is holding you back from your dreams? What inspires you? If you find you are stuck in a rut that you wish you could get out of, ask yourself these questions. Find your own healthy escape and reason to get motivated. You will find that the path to a happier healthy you is just around the corner.

Crossing the finish line at Nike Women's Marathon ~ 26.2 miles.